Bullsh*tters and Game Spitters

What is it in society that tells men that they need to have all these lyrics and lines to approach a woman?
What ever happened to regular conversation? ...

"Hi, How are you? I'm John. I haven't seen you around here before.......Would you like to grab a cup of coffee some time?" *simple*

Why is it always....

"Hi, How are you? I'm Jay. Are you new around here? ...........I thought so shorty, because I would have noticed all that sexiness before."

Are you serious? Get the f*ck outta here with that nonsense.

It is my firm belief that once you have passed the undergraduate age, game spitting should stop. Now if you're funny, and the lines you're throwing are for sh*ts and giggles and they break the ice and lead to regular conversation then I'm all for it. But this should not be your main approach tactic.

C'mon guys, women over the age of 23 still accept the, "Shorty, what's yo name?", b.s.? Unless you are Trey Songz, leave that sh*t alone please. It really isn't that cute.

Now you may be wondering why this is unattractive. This is why. Your bag of prepared, non-spontaneous lines tells me a few things:

1. You are a thirsty dude, and thirst is very rarely attractive.
2. You're most probably not genuine.
3. This is how you approach everything; with feathers, fluff and nothing substantial.

In other words, this tells me that you're a bullsh*tter. Now I realize that it might be unfair to assume that all game spitters are a subset of the wider bullsh*tters group, but baby...I can only speak on what I've seen.

So who are the bullsh*tters? .... Don't bullsh*t me! You know them...
They spit that good game (sound familiar?), everything sounds wonderful, you think they are level headed, serious (what you see is what you get) people but it's all just feathers, fluff and nothing substantial. They just do and say what they think is necessary to manipulate you into where they want you to be. This is why the game spitting is a dead give away. By spitting game, they are feeding you what they think they need to, to get your number; or a date or whatever.

Besides; don't you think game spitting is played? State your intentions early. You want to get to know me? Cool, let's have a conversation.... All this filler you're throwing at me is just wasting my time.

Now don't get me wrong, I am a strong advocate for flattery and ego-stroking. I give it freely and freely accept it; but the timing and execution of these need to be right.

So please, stop the game spitting. Thanks, much appreciated.


*Disclaimer*
The non game spitting people may still be bullsh*tters, but at least the likelihood of that being the case is smaller and your initial conversations would not be nearly as irritating.

Friends.... Really?

So, lately, I've been hearing the word 'friend' thrown around a lot and this has really gotten me to thinking. What is a friend anyway?

Here are dictionary.com's definitions:

friend

-noun

1. a person attached to another by feelings of personal regard or affection.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron, supporter
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile *PAUSE*

If a friend is supposed to be someone who is attached to another by affection or personal regard and someone who isn't hostile; then tell me this.

What about if you have mixed feelings? You know that person... The one you care about, you want the best for, but you want to punch them in the face and stomp that ass at the same time? What do you define your relationship with that person as? Is that friendship? I'm pretty sure harboring 'I want to whoop your ass' feelings would fall into the hostile category. I have a few people like that in my life right now, and quite frankly it's freaking tiring. It's like, "Shut the f*ck up!! We aren't friends; maybe we were friends...but right at this very moment? No, you and I are not friends. So please just leave me the hell alone before your face gets smashed."

I don't know! Maybe I'm just angry! But seriously, get out of my face with that. I want nothing but the best for you but I can do that from a distance. Because apparently I think bodily harm is good for you too.

On a related sidenote....

It kills me how people think that they can treat you any raggedy old way and still call themselves your friend. Everyone is running around doing what they think is best/easiest for them, whether that be at your expense or not, and I'm the asshole running around trying to accomodate everyone else... I must be some type of idiot. Enough of that sh*t!

Ain't nothin' else to say!

F.B.G.M.

Where are the shades of gray?

So, I'm asking... Where are the shades of gray? Is it really just black and white? Is there no in between?

Where am I going with this? This is where...

Of recent, I've been noticing a trend in male/female relations.
I always believed that the interactions between men and women spanned a continuum. On one end; let's call this black; the man viewing the woman as an object. A living, breathing, walking, talking 'bust-a-nut' aid. (Now, this is not to say that women don't objectify men; I'm perfectly aware of this but I'm speaking one sidedly.) On the other end; let's call this white; the man really trying to make the woman wifey.

Now, I always thought that between those two ends of the spectrum were shades of gray; areas in which men and women could relate on neither of those levels. A place where men and women could just enjoy each other's company; a place where men and women could be attracted to each other and even act on that attraction without it being the pursuit of the aforementioned object or wifey.

Apparently, I've been delusional. What I've noticed is that people tend to start off in the grey and move towards one end of the spectrum. So apparently the grey areas do exist; but people only remain there temporarily.

Just for fun, let's map out one of the paths through the spectrum that I've seen.
What the hell, let's call our characters Ken and Barbie.

So, Ken and Barbie meet each other. They're both thinking, "Hey, he/she seems cool and cute too. We can just hang out. No strings... just friends... I'm not looking for anything anyway"

Ken and Barbie, have fun together. They go out, they hang out in groups of friends, they can ask each other for favours and it's not a problem. They're friends. Cool, right?

Then here comes the migration...

As they get to know each other more and get more comfortable they start moving towards the white. Remember though, neither of them were looking for a relationship. They ignore that little fact anyway and move towards the wifey/boo area. Then they get to the lightest shade of grey and one of them; for our purposes, Ken; realizes... "wait a minute; I'm not trying to be in a relationship." But by this time they're already sleeping together and Barbie has already cognitively adjusted to the idea of a relationship with Ken.

So what happens?

They try to regain that nice balanced shade of grey they were at before. This however, has been complicated by the development of a more than platonic emotional connection that has been concretized by these fools having sex. So as they attempt to divorce themselves from any emotional connection to each other without divorcing themselves from the physical connection; they just keep stepping on down to black.

Now this wouldn't be an issue if the emotional divorce for both parties occurred equally. But the thing is, I've always seen it to be one sided.

Barbie keeps thinking "He's gonna come round soon" @Sara Bareilles and Ken keeps thinking "Phew, great we can be cool and I could still get pu$$y".

Then one day Barbie wakes up from her snooze and realizes that she's just Ken's f*ck toy now. That grey that they used to be at was apparently just a launch point to get to one of the extremes on that spectrum. Once you've migrated, that grey is gone.


So what's my point? I'm not sure I even have one anymore.

But here are just a few things I think are important for both men and women.

1. If you want a relationship; never give someone the benefits of a relationship if you're not in one.
2. If grey is what you want, don't migrate, because there is no turning back.
3. Be real with yourself, don't pretend you're cool with being objectified; if you aren't. (And yes, there are people that are fine with that; but it's usually mutual objectification)

So I've been toying with the idea of blogging again for a while. A couple people gave me push so here I am.... Don't know where to start though, so maybe one day when I feel the vibe I'll throw something on here :)

Nice to meet you blogspot.